I like the way you turn me inside and out / Thoughts
Well, long time no see again. With all my duties at the moment, work, study, photography and helping my partner taking care of the little one I`ve struggled to write again. In december I wrote this really personal text, I wasn`t sure if this is a piece I should publish. But I want this to be a place for my thoughts, to proceed whats going on, the good and the bad, so I thought I would share it with you. I hope to soon be able to write more `thoughts`posts again, I truly love how much you all like them.
There was this moment when it hit me like a bomb that something has changed. I loved to educate myself, I always liked to prepare for the worst. I looked at medical intagram accounts for educational reasons, worked with sick kids, dying adults and saw how ugly the world can be. But at this rainy monday in december it hit me. The picture of a toddlers heart, shortly before being transplaned, showed up on my feed, from one of the educational medical accounts, and I felt this incredible fear inside of me. Fear. Sadness. Anger. I went home and cried like a child My stepson was at the same age as this little person in my feed. And I could feel the grief these parents had to go threw like it was my own, I was always the distant one, extremly good at seperating things. I wasn't anymore. Something has changed and it makes me vulnerable. More emotional, and a better person.
Pictures by @trice_lightsource